With the capacitor, you only need one, (or 2 or more smaller ones that add up to about 1000) and you hook the positive side of it on the red wire, and the negative side on the black wire.
As for the 80 vs 60, im with you on the 80. I bet they exaggerate the ratings, so the 60 probably would fry if you had a motor that had a amp draw close to 60. I also think the motor would probably only draw its max amp on its max voltage. I've seen reviews for the goolrc 60amp esc combos where people say it worked great on 2s, then fried when they used 3s. But these same people didn't do the research you did, seeing the motor draws more then the esc can handle, then blame the esc when they max the voltage of it. I have a 3900kv on a 60, probably the same motor you are talking about, and i wont be using 3s on it. Been great for over a year or 2 now, I'm sure if i used a 3s it'll fry. Wish i went with the 80, or even the 120, but it was a sweet deal for the combo.
The bec setting depends on what the ratings are what its powering. Most recievers are rated at 6v, as are stock servos. So 6v is safest, unless you're sure everything can handle higher voltage and you need the higher voltage, then you can go up to the max ratings. 3 out of 4 of my setups are rated for 7.4v, but i only have 2 of them set to 7.4. They are crawlers and benefit more from the higher voltage and stronger servos, my bashers i keep lower because i dont need the max torque and speed of the servo, and hopefully that will make everything last longer.
As for lvc, 3 is a little low. Usually 3.4 to 3.6 is more common. You can go a little lower, say 3.2, if you have the type of lvc alarm that plugs into the balance leads of the battery. Those monitor individual cells, where as the esc monitors total voltage of all cells together, so if you have a weaker cell in the battery, it'll drop lower then what its set to, potentially causing premature failure of the battery.